It Takes a Village to Raise a Child – But What If You Don’t Have One?

The saying “It takes a village to raise a child” paints a picture of a warm, supportive community rallying around parents and children. But what happens if you don’t have that village? For many of us, the journey of parenting can feel isolated, with no built-in safety net of family, neighbors, or friends to lean on.

Meet Sarah’s Story
When Sarah became a mom, she expected her journey to look a lot like her own childhood. Her parents had lived just down the street from her grandparents, aunts, and uncles, and family gatherings were a constant source of love and support. But Sarah’s reality turned out differently.

“We moved for my husband’s job when I was pregnant, and I didn’t know a single person in our new city,” Sarah shared. “I thought I’d make mom friends quickly, but it didn’t happen. Everyone seemed to already have their circles, and I was too exhausted to put myself out there.”

Without family nearby and no one to call when she needed a break, Sarah felt overwhelmed. “I spent a lot of nights crying after my baby went to bed, wondering why it felt like everyone else had this magical village except me.”

How Sarah Built Her Village
After a particularly tough week, Sarah decided she couldn’t keep doing it alone. “I forced myself to go to a local parenting group. I was terrified no one would talk to me, but one mom smiled and invited me to sit with her. That small moment changed everything.”

Over time, Sarah started finding her village in unexpected places:

• A neighbor who offered to watch her baby for an hour so she could run errands.

• A fellow mom at the park who invited her to a weekly playdate.

• An online group where she could vent, ask questions, and feel seen.

“It didn’t happen overnight,” Sarah admitted. “But I started to realize that a village isn’t something you always inherit—it’s something you create.”

How You Can Create Your Village
If you’re feeling like Sarah once did, here are some steps to take toward building a support system:

1. Start Small and Take the First Step

It can feel intimidating to put yourself out there, but even small actions—like striking up a conversation at a park or attending a local library storytime—can open doors.

2. Leverage Online Communities

If in-person connections feel daunting or inaccessible, online communities can be a lifesaver. Parenting forums, social media groups, and virtual meetups are full of people looking for connection.

3. Redefine What a Village Looks Like

Your village doesn’t have to look like a traditional network of extended family. It could be the teacher who takes extra care with your child, a babysitter who feels like family, or a small group of fellow parents who just get it.

4. Give Yourself Grace

Building a village takes time, and it’s okay to feel discouraged along the way. Remember that even one or two supportive people can make a world of difference.

5. Be Vulnerable and Open to Help

Sarah’s turning point came when she allowed herself to ask for help and accept kindness from others. It’s not a sign of weakness to say, “I can’t do this alone”—it’s a way to open the door to connection.

A Village of Possibilities
Today, Sarah’s life looks very different. “I don’t have a big family nearby, but I have people who care about me and my child. That’s my village. It’s not what I imagined, but it’s even better because I built it myself.”

If you’re feeling the weight of parenting without a village, remember this: it’s never too late to create one. Whether you find support at a local group, through a kind neighbor, or in an online space, you are capable of building the connections you need.

And if you’re still searching, know that you’re not alone. There’s a whole world of parents out there just like you—looking for their village and waiting to welcome you into theirs.

You’ve got this.

🤍 Charitie Carpenter, CFLE